Why does prayer live now?

I'm not the only person who has struggled with prayer -
and I'm still in the lower classes of this school.
But the wonder is that much has changed. How did that happen?
This poem was written in 2014, and was updated to became a chapter headline in the 2017 book:
Still Digging: Scratching the surface and plumbing the depths of prayer

Why does prayer live now
When once it didn't flow?
What have I learned now
That then I did not know?
It's not divine pressure;
He just watches and waits
Till I learn that there's treasure-
A reward in that place;
And the prayer that failed,
When I made it a rule,
Has now been revealed
As a beautiful jewel.
So, when I go in
To spend time with my God
I don't come to impress him;
I come to be loved.

I welcome this rest
But it isn't the end;
I've mounted a crest,
But there's new peaks ahead.
There's further to go
On this journey of prayer.
So much I don't know -
Even stages I fear.
It's not God who holds back;
He's waiting for me
There's so much that I lack -
I won't fully be free
Until I move forward
And fully embrace
The calling of God
To the holiest place.

© Derrick Phillips - 2014 - updated 2017